let's get your questions answered!

planning a wedding can feel like wrangling a flock of glitter-bomb-wielding pigeons, right? don't worry, you're not alone! we've gathered the most common queries (and a few you didn't even know you had!) to help smooth out your journey. dive in, and let's make this whole wedding thing a blast!

just click on the questions to get the answers.

questions:

q: what is the difference between a marriage commissioner, officiant, minister, and celebrant? can i have a friend or family member officiate?

a: in bc, only two groups can legally officiate a wedding: a marriage commissioner and an ordained representative. a marriage commissioner's pretty straightforward – they only conduct civil ceremonies. an ordained representative can also use titles like officiant, minister, or celebrant, plus a few other less common ones.

i'm an ordained minister with the canadian international metaphysical ministry, and i've also gone through extra training as a master celebrant with the celebrant foundation & institute. fun fact: there are only 2 masters in our association across canada!

i don't do civil ceremonies. i absolutely adore getting creative with you! we'll co-create everything from a super intimate gathering to a grand affair. whether you want something simple or spectacular, it’s all about making your day and your ceremony truly yours, not mine!

unfortunately, you can’t have a friend or family member legally officiate your ceremony here. however, i absolutely love when friends and family *share* in the ceremony. i'm required legally and ethically to be the one holding the official title.

q: what is your process like, start to finish? can you map it out for me so i understand?

a: let's map out our exciting journey together:
first, you reach out and fill in the contact form. (adrienne insert link)
my system'll send a friendly response and a link to my calendar so we can schedule a meet-up, either in-person or on zoom.
we’ll chat to see if we're a good ‘fit’ (no pressure at all!). i'll even show you some cool examples of what your ceremony could look like.
after that, you can either decide we're not quite right, or you can choose to move forward with me. absolutely no obligation either way!

if it's a 'yes!', my system'll send you a contract and an invoice for a 50% retainer.
then, you'll get links to your very own secure online portal, where all your forms and questionnaires'll be waiting.
and the magic begins! i start crafting your ceremony:
you'll get to review and tweak 2 drafts online through your portal.
the final draft's the one we'll use for your big day!
you'll also get a few friendly automatic reminder emails along the way to keep us on track.

about one month before the big day, you’ll get a reminder that your balance's due.
i also suggest picking up your marriage license around this time. it's good for 90 days, so if we need to shift the date for any unexpected reason, we're covered.

i show up (depending on how far i need to travel) between 30 minutes and 2 hours beforehand.
we have an absolute blast doing your ceremony!
i'll take care of your paperwork and pop it in the mail to bc vital statistics.
you’ll get a couple more emails from me.

your contact with me doesn’t have to end with this outline! i’m genuinely here for you. feel free to reach out by email, phone, text, or whatsapp anytime.

q: do you meet the legal requirements?

a: absolutely! i'm fully licensed to officiate marriages anywhere in beautiful british columbia.

q: can we see the script before the wedding?

a: once we kick things off, you'll get access to your secure online portal. it's where all your documents, invoices, emails, and, of course, your ceremony drafts'll live.

if you choose the intimate affair, you'll get one draft of the script to make any edits before the final version's created.
if you choose any other affair, you'll get two drafts, plus access to a google document for your love story that you can edit right on screen. if you choose to add ‘a secret’ for your spouse, that little surprise won't show up in any of the drafts – i keep that under wraps for my copy and spring it on them during the ceremony!

q: can you give us guidance on writing our vows?

a: yes, i certainly can! i always encourage my couples to skip asking ai to write their vows. ai's super handy for some things, but it's pretty rubbish at making things truly, deeply personal. i also encourage you to take your time (think weeks, not days!) before the wedding to write them. just start jotting down thoughts or even recording them on your phone to keep them secret. then, over the coming weeks, you can craft them into your unique, personal vows.

if you'd like me to take a peek at your vows, i’d be absolutely delighted to do that for you, though it's totally optional.

if you choose to have me create a keepsake (adrienne link to the page), you can email me a copy of your vows before or after the wedding for me to include. just a heads-up: if you've got other notes on that paper (or in a booklet) that you need for the reception, please, please tell me not to take it home! yes, that’s actually happened before. thankfully, one groom had a backup on his phone (see below).

q: can i say my vows from my cell phone?

a: you can, but i really don't recommend it. the sun can make screens impossible to see, heat might mess with your phone, or the battery could die at the worst possible moment. and if you need 'old man' glasses like i do, you're toast! my script uses larger print so i don't have to use mine. but, i will say, it's a great thing to use as a back up just in case your written copy gets lost.

now, as for a written copy: you can snag some lovely booklets on amazon or at local shops. you *could* use a crummy piece of paper, but really, why would you? it's your special day – splurge $10-$20!

q: do you have any advice for us for things that did/didn't go well in past ceremonies?

a: sure thing! first, in the whirlwind of wedding planning, try to dial down the expectation for absolute perfection. something might not go exactly to plan, and that's okay! just breathe, let it go, and trust that for whatever reason, that's how it was meant to be. if something goes a little sideways, just roll with it. it probably won't affect the rest of your amazing day, so just enjoy it!

now, for my little list of wisdom:
using candles outdoors? probably a no-go. two reasons: 1) fire hazard (yikes!), and 2) they'll blow out no matter what fancy covered lantern you use. if you can test it and it magically works in the, then do it. but in my experience they blow out. if you want a specific type of ritual with candles, let's chat and brainstorm how we can adapt it!

using bluetooth for music and sound. again, if you're absolutely, positively sure it's reliable, then cool. but it’s often a little gremlin that loves to cause trouble. i had a bride who recorded herself singing to her groom. halfway down the aisle, the bluetooth cut out! it felt like hours to her, i'm sure. when it finally came back on, it was the original track with the famous singer! if you must use bluetooth, make sure your sound person stays super close to the receiver.

electronic devices for your vows. i've already addressed that above.

sound and photography/videography: always keep in mind that you get what you pay for. pick either pros or people who know what they're doing. eg: i had a ‘professional’ photographer show up in a very revealing tube top with tattoos and super short shorts, with everything just waiting to bust loose.

q: what do we need to bring to the ceremony?

a: your spouse-to-be, of course! every officiant's different. so, for me, this is what i suggest.

your personal vows (if you’re doing them). remember…written!
your original bc marriage license and registration of marriage certificate. seriously, no officiant can legally marry you without this!
tissues/handkerchief. it might seem weird to say that, “like everyone knows that” right? you'd be surprised! both gals and guys (or someone in your wedding party) should have them handy. you'd be surprised how many guys i’ve seen bawl and desperately need one!
comfy shoes for the bride. staying in those crazy, gorgeous for hours and hours is, well…crazy!

q: how do you handle the legal logistics?

a: terminology: in b.c., there's only one tiny paragraph in your whole ceremony that's legally required. it's called the declaration of intent (or something similar). then there's a specific bit at the end i must say: “by the power entrusted in me by the province of bc….” i often like to add “and by the power of love itself” before “...i now pronounce you….”

we no longer have to use gender-specific pronouns, wife, husband, mr., or mrs. the only thing we have to keep is in your declaration of intent “lawfully wedded…” we can use traditional titles or 'partner' (we can even sneak in something silly!) as long as we say ‘lawfully wedded’. when we pronounce you and introduce you, it's the same flexibility! i also give couples the option of adding something silly if they want:
“ladies and gentlemen (or non-specific pronouns) it’s my pleasure to introduce to you for the first time as…” (titles, married, whatever you choose). then the names you choose (you don’t have to take your spouse’s last name or use mr./mrs.).
so, for example, “friends and family, it’s my pleasure to introduce to you for the first time as partners, mr. x & mr. y, goofball partners for life.”

paperwork: i bring a government; you bring your license (above). i then use little post-it coloured flags to quickly move you all through your signing of the paperwork.

i'll take a scan of your license and add it to your file, just in case (because sometimes it doesn't make it to vital statistics - it happens!). i then take that license and pop it in the mail on my way home. you'll receive your marriage certificate by mail in about a month.

witnesses: you must have two witnesses who'll sign for you.

substances: just a friendly reminder, i can refuse to go ahead with your ceremony if you, your spouse-to-be, or your witnesses are under the influence of any substances. so, be sure you’re all sober!

q: do you provide your own amplification?

a: no. our contract specifically says this is your responsibility. i can't conduct your wedding being totally present to you and your guests if i’m worrying about amplification. my voice projects well. i have two hearing aids i can loan out if needed! in cases where you're recording then i've no issue being ‘wired for sound’ by who you hire.

q: what will you wear?

a: if you’ve looked at the images on my site and socials, you’ll see i wear some really fun jackets and shoes. i love what i do, and it shows! i also have plainer, yet fashionable, jackets. some couples make preferences known. when it’s more casual, i dress down as well, from bare feet or up to just pants and a nice shirt. we can discuss that more if you like.

q: what is the plan if you run into an emergency?

a: okay, two main scenarios: delayed: if i get held up by some travel hiccup, i'll ask you to have an emergency contact so i can let you know i’m going to be late. sickness: i've a list of very trusted celebrants in my association whom i can call. they or i will contact you right away. there's no extra cost to you; it comes out of my budget.

q: what area do you cover?

a: i'm licensed to conduct weddings all across bc! i primarily service vancouver island and the lower mainland.

q: are you lgbtq+ friendly?

a: absolutely! not only am i queer-friendly, but i also proudly identify as a cisgender gay man.

q: do you only officiate large weddings?

a: not at all! i officiate all sorts of weddings. they're listed on the ‘let’s begin’ page (adrienne link to the page). i also do weddings at venues, parks, beaches, backyards, and beyond! themed weddings can also be a total blast – though i do draw the line at skydiving, bungy jumping, or clothing-optional ceremonies. i will, however, totally work out the legal details if you want to fly me to hawaii!!